ME TRYING TO ACT NORMAL
WHEN IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY
This is not a drill
Happy Birthday, I Love You
I made you a whole website because a normal card was not dramatic enough.
Age Update 25
Breaking: birthday person remains iconic
Experts baffled by continued cuteness
Local partner reports dangerously high affection levels
Cheesecake has entered the chat
The receipts
Why you are objectively the main character
Certified Cute
Results confirmed by a completely biased but highly motivated committee of one.
Too Powerful
Your smile has caused several emotional support tabs to open in my brain.
Highly Suspicious
No one should be this lovable and also this good at stealing the blanket.
Affectionate slander only
Birthday roast generator
Another year wiser, and somehow still surprised when your phone is at 3 percent.
Totally real analytics
Current birthday metrics
Worth celebrating
Chill about your birthday
Reasons I love you
Favorite person. It is you.
Okay but seriously
I love you a ridiculous amount
Beneath all the jokes is the actual headline: you make life warmer, funnier, and better. I hope today makes you feel as adored as you are.
Status: adored beyond reasonable limits.